Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Coffee Fuels a Morning's Worth of Writing

I can drink a bit of coffee these days without flutters in my heart. I can even drink just a little coffee in the morning, though I drink those few mouthfuls very slowly. Which means that the coffee cools as I parse it out over an hour or two.
However, that bit of tepid coffee is fueling writing. With coffee, my thinking is sharper and more focused, words tumble out with more precision. Thus, I have newly acquired hope that the book of mine, which is now in rough draft in a three ring binder, can be added to and edited, arranged into a coherent narrative. Six months ago, I tried to order what I'd written and gave up because my mind was foggy with too many drugs and the aftermath of a heart ablation procedure. My doc said it would take six months for things to normalize. I'd say nine months and counting.
Last evening, I met a friend for supper and after hearing my lament about months of not feeling up to full speed, she said words to this effect, "Don't fight it. Integrate this lack of energy into your life because it has meaning. Time is not wasted. You are recovering. Let it be what it is." She said this twice during our several hours together and both times, her words sounded just right.
BTW, these days she lives overlooking Discovery Green and is expanding into a brand new life. I'll take her advice.
What was the use of trying of trying to be so efficient during those first six months? My efforts brought me only frustration. There were many days when I did little but head back toward bed, cancelling meetings, visits with friends and forgoing hours of writing at my dining room table with laptop and a view of the garden.
Eight months post-procedure, I am almost back on track. I still become weary if I plan to do more than three things in one day. If I have two concurrent busy days, I give way again to wandering around my house, admiring the garden and reading a little bit more about Rome, or Venice, or Florence. Not too bad an alternative to busyness.
The good news is that I can drink a bit of coffee again and it brings that familiar bounce without heart flutters. This is BIG. And it's nice to know that that cup and saucer in the photo at the top of this blog post has been in my family for over fifty years. Mom bought it at Syracuse China's seconds store in Syracuse, NY, probably in the 1950s. Mom told me that my grandmother Della Hawn Bain used it for tea the winter she visited them in 1964. Last summer, I claimed this cup and saucer for my own when my sister Kate and I inventoried a lifetime of Mom and Dad's possessions in preparation for selling their home. It's good to know Della and Mom and I drink from the same cup and that there are some continuities in life. Another integration into the scheme of things.


Grace Mathis, Beaumont's original beauty geek said...

Mary Margaret, I like this post :) It makes me think about the coffee cups and saucers I retrieved from my grandparent's after they passed away. I need to bring them out and use them :) Thank you!

Sharon said...

You have a smart friend:) I am glad you are feeling more like your self these days.