Monday, March 18, 2013

Atrial Fib Messing With Monday

I am on tenuous ground this morning, so perhaps I shall write a blog post as a way of getting the day under control.  Or, I could draft a TO DO list and spend the rest of the day/week checking it off.  Or, I could simply take myself into the studio and, with a burst of will power, scan more of that stack of bl/wh negatives.  And/or clear the studio floor, so I can clearly see in-process Terlingua collages. Or, I can do what I did yesterday. Go back to bed and read another Donna Leon mystery story in preparation for an autumn trip to Venice.
Feel a bit shaky this morning and it isn't for lack of food. Is the entire tablet of Luneta I took for sleep last night making a bumpy no-energy morning? Over the last four days, I've spaced my daily drugs, hoping to discover the ones that most drain my energy. When I took all of them in the morning, I found I was often unable to do anything until afternoon. Even reading a book was too much.
I assume that all these drugs are keeping my heart on track (most of the time), precluding a stroke, (absolutely, I hope), allowing a proper night's sleep (getting better) and lowering that inherited high blood pressure (doing the job). All these pills may be saving me, but they take their toll.
Especially as there can be no caffeine in my life. The little caffeine I used to imbibe offered me short bursts of sharpened mental energy.  Mental energy is now sadly lacking in my life. Sadly, because I cannot edit or order that two inch high stack of Memoir II writing which has been on my table since late January.  I've tried literally to cut pages up and staple them in some sort of coherent order, but I don't have the mental alacrity to find an order. It's killing me.
And suddenly, I may be on the verge of an afib episode. I feel my heart flipping about again, a plunge now and then. So hope it can right itself without going into a full blown afib episode like last Saturday afternoon when I was quietly working in the studio and I felt that blip. It's good to be wearing a heart monitor that was recording. But, I wish these episodes weren't happening at all.  After a couple of hours, I took to my bed and the day was lost. Napped, lay there quietly. Prepared no supper. Waited. Near 6:00, I began to feel energy returning. I could tell because, still in bed, I was conversing with ES in something other than monotones.
So, this morning, atrial fib or not, I went out to the studio and cleared the floor a bit, put the unfinished collages in a row.  Began to sort through bits of photos, but nothing was working and I bet if I took my pulse, it would be irregular.
I will finish this post and take to my bed with Donna Leon's 'Death In a Strange Country'.
Is Monday down the drain?

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