I am just beginning to regain and retain energy that lasts for more than a few hours, energy that may last a whole day. However, all I want to do is stay at home, perhaps engaging in quiet, reflective activities like reading, sorting piles, surveying the back garden, preparing healthy food. I continue to avoid energy depleting activities, especially meetings and any kind of phone call that involves a decision or the need for a level-headed thought process. I've put off calls to the electrician, gardener and air conditioning company because the calls will precipitate their arrival at my house to install that carport light, spread mulch and clip wisteria vines and revamp the duct work in the attic. Both the phone calls and their presence in my house seem to take way too much energy.
There is an upside to sparse energy. I spend a lot of time ruminating. I've filled pages with notes, recollections. I am writing every day.
I think my heart is on the mend. For 90 days, I take a reduced dose of Propafanone, a blood thinner and an acid reflux tablet. I am thirty days into this regimen. All seems smooth going, except that several evenings ago, I had what felt like a quick pound of the heart for no apparent reason. Not a sudden 'fight or flight' adrenalin moment. Just an out of the blue jolt. Then last evening as I lay in bed, I could feel my heart beating, never a good sign. Was it beating irregularly? Sure felt like it, but I didn’t take my pulse. I really didn't really want to confirm. I want this ablation procedure to be successful. Can I ‘will’ success?